53 Days Till I Do

Feb. 22nd

19 days!

My future success is my focus. As a future Step Father I have to believe in myself. My greatest liability is insecurity. I have taken what I learned from my Father and must apply the best of those lessons to my new sons. I won't let my insecurities weigh me down. I won't be afraid to make mistakes, admit to being wrong, or share my experiences.

I wrote previously that I don't have enough time with Dustin to share my wisdom. Dustin is 17, turning 18 in April, he will graduate High School in June and plans to attend the community college here in Tallahassee. I have to utilize my time because he wants his independence like most teenagers.

I suppose most insecurities are financial, being smart enough, or failure. These insecurities need to have a different perspective, another outlook. Not having enough money can be difficult but allow yourself to find creative solutions that are cost effective. I would love to provide my family at this moment right now, a huge house, swimming pool, and big lawn where the boys can play full 100 yard football. At this time I cannot support that goal but its worth chasing down. Being the creative parent I am I take my sons to the park. Swimming pool is tough but if you know someone ask or community pool in the city. Embrace your children' imagination and create your castle.

Not being smart enough to help your child study or answer life changing questions is ok. My father was not Albert Einstein. He did take me to libraries, introduced me to people he knew that engage my curiosity, or got me a tutor from school. I am not afraid to tell my sons that I don't know the answer but I can find someone who does.

Failure as parent is a big insecurity. I think what Pastor Erik told us having a foundation of friends, family and church can help you. I have to remember that asking someone for help is ok. There is no shame in asking. More times than not that person or persons was in the exact situation. The wisdom that our elders possess is truly precious. Asking never hurt.

I am lucky to have such insecurities but I promise that focus is future success.